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Derek Smith to AllStaff: Someone has taken my mug again. This is the third time this month. Please return it immediately. Derek
Natalie Flank to AllStaff: What does it look like? Natalie
Mark van Deen to AllStaff: Round with a small curved handle?! Mark
Tim Tandy to AllStaff: Sounds like someone I know! T
Tim Tandy to AllStaff: Tim Tandy would like to recall this message
Tim Tandy to AllStaff: Sorry about that everyone. Was meant to be a private message. Tim
Derek Smith to AllStaff: It’s red and has my name on it. I know you all think this is funny but it’s my property and I’d like it back. Derek
Natalie Flank to AllStaff: Where did you last see it? Natalie
Derek Smith to AllStaff: It was in the cupboard in the kitchen.
Megan Gutfreund to AllStaff: Why don’t you keep it on your desk, Derek? It’s much less likely to be taken from there. Megan.
Derek Smith to AllStaff: Because I don’t expect to have to keep everything by me at all times in case it gets stolen. This isn’t Tegucigalpa. It’s Bracknell. D
Sam Kernel to AllStaff: Where is Tepucigalga?
Will Adams to AllStaff: Tegucigalpa. It’s in Honduras.
Mark van Deen to AllStaff: It’s the capital of Honduras. Tegucigalpa.
Iris Lee to AllStaff: I don’t know why you are accusing your colleagues of stealing. Someone has picked it up by accident. It’s in a cupboard full of mugs.
Alex Arkle to AllStaff: If anyone would like to opt out of this fascinating conversation in order to do some work, there is an option to mute it. Just go to the “More” symbol at the top of the page, click on it and you should see it. Alex
Ava Mayer to AllStaff: Honduras.
Derek Smith to AllStaff: It literally has my name on it, Iris. It’s the third time this has happened. It’s not an accident. And Alex, implying that I should be muted is appalling. This is not Pyongyang. Derek
Tim Tandy to AllStaff: I stand with Derek. Liberate the M4 corridor one!
Tim Tandy to AllStaff: Tim Tandy would like to recall this message
Alex Arkle to AllStaff: If anyone would like to know how to reply to only one person on an email thread, please do get in touch. Alex
Varun Rama to AllStaff: I actually sympathise with Derek on this. The mug was a gift, and it presumably has sentimental value. I am still waiting to get my charger back, by the way. Varun
Derek Smith to AllStaff: It wasn’t a gift.
Megan Gutfreund to AllStaff: You bought a mug with your own name on it?
Derek Smith to AllStaff: Yes. Why?
Tim Tandy to AllStaff: That would be helpful, Alex. I keep replying to everyone! Christ alive, what a bunch of dreadful whingers our colleagues are! Tim
Tim Tandy to AllStaff: Tim Tandy would like to recall this message
Flora Hawn to AllStaff: Varun, you’re not alone. I have lost about a million chargers, too. F
Ren Moult to AllStaff: Coming to this late: it’s in Honduras.
Sumayah Habib to AllStaff: I bring soya milk into work for health reasons and people keep using it. And before you ask, Megan, I have no choice but to keep it in the fridge. Sumayah
Gabriel Palpate to AllStaff: My bicycle was stolen from outside the office the other day. I know this isn’t relevant but it is something to be aware of. Gabe
Sally Williams to AllStaff: I’m so sorry to hear that, Gabriel. I doubt the police took much notice!
Megan Gutfreund to AllStaff: I do understand the difference between a mug and milk, Sumayah. But thanks so much for making it clear.
Gabriel Palpate to AllStaff: I didn’t even bother telling them! G
Sally Williams to AllStaff: Good call!!
Tim Tandy to AllStaff: Someone’s going to get palpated!
Tim Tandy to AllStaff: Tim Tandy would like to recall this message
Sumayah Habib to AllStaff: I’m glad you know the difference between a mug and milk, Megan. What about your arse and your elbow?
Derek Smith to AllStaff: Panic over. I found it. Sorry, everyone! D
Megan Gutfreund to AllStaff: Idiot.
Derek Smith to AllStaff: Megan, I have no idea what I have done to deserve that. The level of rudeness you have just shown is completely inappropriate. This is not New York. It’s Berkshire.
Continues for rest of eternity■
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